BATHROOM FEAR

Why do some people care so much about who goes in what public bathroom?  What’s the matter with Americans?  How have we gotten gender, sex, nudity, and elimination so mixed up?  Do straight people really think they are so desirable that gay or transgendered people won’t be able to keep their hands off of them if they accidentally see a glimpse of thigh?  Or are they so curious about people with “other” identifications that close proximity will “infect” them.

I have to laugh at certain white men who always assume that all gay men are interested in them sexually.   Hello!  Are you really that hot?

I don’t pretend to completely understand transgendered identification, but I believe that it is personal.  I believe very strongly that one’s religion and sexual identification are no one’s business but your own.  None of us must put our beliefs on others.  I always thought this was the American way.  To Each His/Her Own.

So get out of my bathroom and my bedroom and – for the overly zealous gynoticians – my vagina.    And I promise, I won’t tell where you can put what and with whom for whatever reason.

And don’t go to North Carolina on vacation or business trips till they get rid of that horrible law.

 

I Have Never Been Invisible and I Don’t want to start NOW.

Ok, you already know, I turned 70 this year and I’m trying to assess this situation.  So, I frequent some of the “senior” sites that discuss  “topics of interest” for my age group.  GAG!  The trouble with our demographics today is that there is a desire, nay an obsession, to pigeonhole everyone.  I even ran across a survey trying to find the appropriate word for old people.  Do we want to be seniors?   Seasoned?  Mature?  Trouble is, we  are all individuals?

When we say 70 is the new 50, what do we mean?  According to who? Whom?  I guess the marketers and advertising executives just have to know how to sell to every age group.  And I guess target marketing has some validity.  I don’t get a lot of ads for hip hop music, although I would love to get tickets for Hamilton in NYC (who wouldn’t?).  My clothing choices are usually “appropriate”, but I do drop in at Urban Outfitters and Forever 21.  It is fun to change it up; it keeps me alive.

I accept that there are some things that are generally applicable to a women in my age group.  But what is all this crap about getting to be over 70 and being invisible — and therefore being able to say and do what you want to.  Really?  Have ALL women baby boomers been holding back and being “good girls” all their lives?

People who know me will be smiling knowingly right now.   I know they won’t believe it when I say that until somewhat recently I didn’t have a view of myself as being particularly outspoken.  Ok, ok, somewhat.

An old high school friend said “I remember that you would not take any crap from any boys and told them what you thought.”  I guess I did; I guess I do.

Wherever it comes from, I have never been able to hold my tongue.  I ALWAYS have an opinion and I really need to express it.  This has gotten me into trouble and prevented me from reaching higher echelons in my work.  I had/have a strong sense of myself and I believe that I can and will get things done.  Where this comes from, I don’t know.

But I do know that my mother always cautioned me to be nicer – especially to boys – if I wanted to be popular.  I’ve always gotten this feedback about pushing too hard and knowing that I was/am right.

So, to the older women who now feel empowered to say what they think, I say, WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!  Indeed, all women need to ask why they defer and don’t rock the boat.  It is your boat too.  It is your life and your body and you need to truly own it.

This is feminism.  Accept no substitutes.  Be yourself.  You will attract others like yourself.

Lately I have been visited by a number of “old” friends, people I went to college with or worked with eons ago.  And my partner has commented ,” Your friends talk almost as much as you!”  Yes my friends tend to be mouthy broads and proud of it.